Chief Awesome Switch Guard

We know if our company would do X -- that would be AWESOME. However the Cjief Awesome Switch Guard will be at the lookout and usually shoot the idea down with comments "not enough resources", "not enough revenue possible", "other things are more important". If it's one of the better companies it will be recorded in some system and buried under some rocks to be nowhere found.

How do people make those decisions? Since they are guards they base their decision on the same criteria some zoo guard is not allowing you to pet an animal in the petting zoo. Are ideas really researched or even important for the business? Probably not -- otherwise we wouldn't have a gurad for the awesome switch.

Productivity Coach

Because with all the things going on and the GTD movement going strong becoming more efficient is the goal. Besides the moral dilemma that if you get your work done early all that awaits you is more work I am willing to share some of my tricks:

• Get a Macbook Pro. Live is too short to work on bad computers and while you are waiting you are not productive.
• Get at least two monitors -- bigger screens make you more productive
• Use Sandy -- you know you need an assistant and make sure to read the e-mail digest of your day before it starts so you can prepare
• Use twitter, twittd and ubiquity to talk to Sandy -- so she's only a click away
  
• Use GTD to order e-mails into Follow-up, Hold, Archive
• Use Gmail or AppleMail and tag mails with your projects
• Get a smart phone

Berry Economist

Tim Hardford, one of my favorite authors, wrote a new article on incentive schemes (see http://www.slate.com/id/2197735/). I strongly believe that incentives need to be somewhat aligned with the goal of the company so I really liked how they did it and how the right incentives trump nepotism.

But as with all incentive schemes I got some criticism from my co-workers (I might add that none of us is in the position to implement any of them):

"...making sure nobody picked too quickly...
talk about a race to the bottom
wow that is really interesting
it makes the workplace a free market then"

Bouncy Castle Economist

Whereas my company with it's about 300 employees deploys only one bouncy castle at our company picknick another company with about 7,000 people deploys eight bouncy castles at their picknick.

Is there a magic bouncy castle ratio which hints at the success of either one company? I am pretty sure that it has to say something but I am not willing to do the research right now. So if one of my readers needs a PhD in economics he or she might want to look into that:-)

Software Metric Illusionist

Because Software Development ceased long ago to be an art, a science, or something else of that sort it is widely considered to be some engineering task. As we probably know everybody from a pizza delivery guy to a garbage collector fulfill engineering tasks -- the good thing about engineering is you can measure. How many garbage cans did get picked up? how many pizzas delivered?

A wise man said "anything that can be measured can be improved". I am a long proponent of bottom line. It is conceivable that if you deliver more pizza in a shorter period of time you have more money; it is also conceivable that if you spend more time with customers they might order again -- I don't know and it might be different in different markets. Fortunately most people are smart and can figure out what makes them more money.

Because people want to be paid regardless of their impact on the bottom line (you can write perfect software but your marketing sucks) certain metrics got invented to decouple the task of engineering software from the bottom line and allow certain improvements. An early metric was lines of codes which obviously just lead to bloated code.

Fast forward to today where most metrics are quality oriented automatically generated ones like the likelihood of having a bug based on heuristics instead of (a more meaningful) how many bugs QA or the customer actually found and so on. The other big component is hours spent on some tasks (nowerdays called velocity).

But can software be reallyd eveloped in such a context? A better algorithm often is 200 times faster. The difference between a good programmer and a bad one is at least 1:20 -- does this sound like your electrician or more like an artist? Well, even in the art world you have extraordinary artists who can't be measured and artists who copy other artists work in big factories. So it all boils down to if you want an original painting in your house or some copy. When you look around successful and rich people buy originals and not so successful and rich people buy copes.

The Software Metric Illusionist tries to convince you that turning your software department into a collection of copy-and-paste technicians will not only save you money but also make your company better. It is up to you to decide if you need an also-run software department or people whoc can take it up with the Google's of the world. Now watch out the double illusion: if you need an also ran why don't you just outsource the whole department? That would be bad for the illusionist so he convinces you despite having an also-run software department it is core enough to your business to keep it in house.

That contradicts GE's metric -- if you can be number one or two get out of this business.
So metrics are all smoke and mirrors? Or things draftet by clever illusionists to fill their own pockets?

Profession: Son

Apparently somebody made an iPhone App which costs $1,000 and all it does is to reassure you that you are rich and you can show the app to your friends to show them that you are rich.

Who would fall for something like that? High School boys! Check out http://blog.wired.com/gadgets/2008/08/high-school-stu.html to learn more about the app and the high school boy. The article asks "Where di he get his money from" and without any research I would guess from being a son of somebody who has $1,000 to blow.

To understand what is going on I will tell you about a guy I know. A normal student, standard stipend, but owning some Porsche Carrera -- which is a hand-down from his dad who just gave hime the car when he didn't need it any more. Well, when he married he got as a wedding gift a Prius because gas prices are not really encouraging commuting ina Carrera. What's this guys major source of income? Being a son -- and go over the campus I have never seen so many luxury cars...

Software Insultant

The softeare insulatant keeps a software company and to some degree the software industry in check.

1. Be honest. If some other team sucks don't say "What's the status?" or "This is terrific work -- now can you add some more features" (which would be the ones we actually wanted three weeks ago). Honesty in that case is to make no secret of your opinion, that they suck, and you are really puzzled that the company still keeps them on payroll...
2. Be honest. The truth hurts, the truth is insulting -- but you are not there to put make-up on the pig. If something is ugly say so; if the company lacks strategic vision, uses the wrong processes, say so -- that might cost you a promotion but let's you sleep at night.
3. Be honest. Be not a team player. Don't follow company line. Stay honest! if the CEO ask you why your department is not performing. State your opinion. Don't be vague -- be precise and concise. You are not here to be a diplomat -- if people would do good work there wouldn't be questions like that. It's not you it's them.
4. Always have an exit strategy (like writing a blog). Live is about politics and about being diplomatic. Insultants only have job security as industry analysts or strategy consultants.
   

Chief Star Wars Minister

Check out this piece from the Geek Dad - an original Star Wars wedding with what it seems a Star Wars minister (my research didn't extend beyond looking at the two pictures). As we know not everybody and his dog can conduct a wedding -- you need some special certificate or license which you probably can buy somewhere on the net -- or you can join the Jedi Church in Wales.

May the force be with you!

Twitterer

After a light week we present our new Web 2.0 title: Twitterer, a person who uses Twitter as a journalistic outlet or keep others informed about themselves (see Internet Famous).

Let's focus on the journalistic aspects of Twitter -- usually posting from political campaign speeches and giving constant updates like a Live Historian -- so what makes Twitter special? The restriction to 160 characters and the encouragement to post more often, so people know "What are you doing?" Sounds a little bit narcissist -- so maybe it's for people who think they are Internet famous?